Granny K vs Her Hair

On my mother’s side, most have very course and dry hair or short and kinky curly hair.  On my father’s side, the hair is very straight and thin.  As a result, my hair is very confused.  It appears straight but is on the dry side and has spots that want to curve and curl in weird directions.  It takes a bit to smooth it down and never really looks all that great.  Mostly, I don’t care because I have never been a person to care that much about hair and makeup.  I was a huge tomboy when growing up and could usually be found with my older brother and his friends.  Instead of playing dolls and house, I would be playing army or sword fighting.  I climbed trees and did sports.  But, I am getting way off subject.

I usually just had mid length hair and no bangs.  Once I started getting older, I was talked into bangs.  Well, my hair loves them.  It gives them opportunity to play tricks on me and I swear I hear them laughing at me!  They refuse to lie flat, but instead will swirl and curl and point out like horns.  It is a daily struggle to get them to look decent!  I attempted to draw a picture to show you how they look.  Sorry for the poor art work.  My father was a fantastic artist, and both of my brothers got his talent.  But, sadly, I can only attempt to draw stick people, and even they are embarrassed to be seen in public.

Note the S shapes and sticky up parts!

A drawing of my hair. Note the S shapes and sticky up parts! Fear my mad drawing skills.

Our days have been starting very early, and I just don’t have the time and/or patience to spend much time on hair.  Lately, I have found myself cussing it out.  A morning conversation with my hair might go something like this:

Me:  Please cooperate today, I am running late!

Bangs:  Ummmm, no

Me:  Bangs!  You need to cover my forehead.  That is your job!

Bangs:  Says you.  I prefer to stick out this way, and that way, and maybe three ways.

Me:  Okay, you asked for it.  I am getting the curlers!

(A short time later)

Me:  How did you do that?!  I curled you in the direction I wanted you, how did you stick out that way?

Bangs: **giggles**

Me:  *#%@&((#&@^  you stinking *^&#^))#!

Bangs:  Now, now!  Just potty language for a child care provider!  **giggles**

Of course, usually when I have plenty of time to get ready for the day, my bangs will take the opportunity to cooperate perfectly.  I swear they have a mind of their own!  Today is Saturday, so I don’t have to worry about the battle.  I don’t have anyplace to go and my bangs can do whatever they please and I will ignore them!  I get to have the last word today! HA!  Take that!