I keep coming here and staring at my blog. I feel guilty that I haven’t posted for so long. It actually makes me sad.
I have decided I can’t do it anymore. All I do is complain and even I don’t want to hear myself complain anymore. Life for me has become just one big stress factor with no relief in site. I can’t stop the downward ride I’m on and I no longer have the energy to try.
So, until the day I feel better and have the strength to fight my own brain, my own fears, and this constant misery I feel, I will give up writing. I hope that day actually comes! Anyone fighting true depression will understand, and those who have never had true depression will just roll their eyes. That’s okay.
Please don’t tell me to get help, I don’t have the funds to pay bills, let alone therapy. And no, there are no free programs here (I have looked and looked) except for the University. I can talk to a student, but their hands are tied so tight on what they can actually say and do that it is no help. I tried that for a while. And if one more person tells me to get a job, I will scream. I am working 5 to 6 days a week, but just can’t make enough at what I do. My average pay is about $4 per hour, and that is before I have to hold out self-employment taxes. I have applied for tons of other jobs, but only got 2 interviews and no takers.
So, there, I got to complain ONE MORE TIME!!!! I just can’t stop myself, I guess.
I will still jump on to read, if I can afford to keep the internet going.
Best of luck to all. Thank you to all who have read my silly posts and have stuck around. I do appreciate you.