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What I Have Learned From Preschoolers

kids huggingOver the years, I hope I’ve taught a few useful life skills to kids.  In return, I have learned things from the preschoolers I’ve cared for.  I thought I would share just a few of the most common phrases they use.  I hope to put them to good use!

1.  MINE!  It’s always good to know what belongs to you.  The rule of thumb seems to be that anything you have touched, are touching, or plan to touch is MINE.  There is no sharing until you tire of the object in question.  A little one who will turn two on the 22nd of this month (October for anyone who is lost in time) regularly can be heard yelling, “No baby! That’s MINE!”.  The one-year-old she’s screaming at thinks it’s pretty funny, so he keeps pretending to try to take the toy.

I plan on using this bit of knowledge the next time I go to the grocery store.  If someone is blocking the item I need, I will simply saunter up to them and scream, “MINE!” at the top of my lungs and reach around them.  I bet it works!

2.  I DON’T WANT TO.  This must be another very important life skill because I hear it a lot, too.  “I don’t want to take a nap…I don’t want a bath…I don’t want to do homework…I don’t want to clean my room…etc.  I plan on using this one tomorrow.  It could be very entertaining.

Child one:  “Will you please open this play-do for me?”

Me:  “I DON’T WANT TO!”

Child two:  “Will you swing me?”

Me:  “I DON’T WANT TO!”

Child one again:  “When is it lunch? I’m hungry.  Will you fix lunch now, please?”

Me:  “I DON’T WANT TO!”

Revenge is sweet.

3.  IN A MINUTE; I JUST NEED TO DO ONE MORE THING.  This is something that the two older girls like to do when you ask them to do something.  It doesn’t matter what needs to be done or how nicely you ask.  You can even give them advance warning that in a minute they need to do something.  You will still get “In a minute, I just need to do one more thing.”

Well, says I, as I roll up my sleeves.  I can play that game, too.

“Kathy, can you help me with my hair?  I have to hurry this morning.”

I will smile sweetly.  “In a minute.  I just need to do one more thing.”  I might have to quickly make up something to do so I can stall, but I will think of something.

“Oh no, I spilled my milk!  Kathy, can you get me a towel?”

I will shake my head. “In a minute.  I just need to do one more thing.”  I will say.

Not so fun now, is it?

4.  MOM AND/OR DAD LETS ME DO IT.  Yes, I’m sure your mom lets you jump frantically on the bed as if your pants are on fire.  That’s a very safe activity and I’m just dumb enough to believe you!  NOT!   I’m also betting it’s not a lie that you can have cookies and candy thirty minutes before lunch.  Yes, child, I know your parents want you to eat sugar that kills the appetite so you won’t eat that silly healthy food.  I don’t think I’m going to fall for that line, sorry!

But, thinking about it, I just might try that tomorrow and get a day off.  I will call the first thing in the morning to the parents I work for and say, “I would like Friday off.”  If they respond that they, too, would like it off but they have to work and therefore I have to work, I will say, “My mom let’s me do it.”  They just might believe me and go for it!  You think?

Okay, this started out giving advice on things I’ve learned but has quickly turned into something else.  I must have some anger issues today as I’m daydreaming about turning this all against the poor kids!  I bet nobody else has wanted to do this, right?  RIGHT?

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