This might be a strange thing to write about, but it’s a subject that does come up from time to time. When asked what my relationship status is, I sometimes stutter and stammer and go back and forth on what to say.
You see, a lot of people consider being a widow the same thing as being single. I get that. I’m not really married because my husband has passed away. Therefore, I am considered to be single. I’m the type of person who tries to make everyone happy, so I usually just state that I am single to avoid any unnecessary explanations. I mean, it’s really not the business of people who don’t really have a part in my life, right? It makes no difference to them if I used to have a fantastic husband. They don’t really care.
But I do.
And yet I succumb to pressure and just state that I am currently ‘single’. Not anymore. Never again.
To do so belittles the time my children and I had with my husband and their father. It makes it feel as if he never existed or just didn’t matter. I was married. We only had him in our lives for nine years, but I was married and I did not leave him. He didn’t leave us on purpose, either. Therefore, I am a widow and not single.
My husband died twenty-one years ago and yet in my mind, I am still married. It might sound strange, but I never let that go. I dated a few times, but it always felt wrong. I had no interest in replacing him, and I kept true to that. I have never regretted it, either.
For some reason I had strong feelings to clarify this publicly. Maybe others feel the same way? When I state that I am a widow, I’m not doing it for sympathy. I do it to honor the memory of my husband. He was a wonderful man and deserves to be remembered.
That is my rant for today. I will have another one another day, I’m sure. *wink*