A list of useful life tools I learned from preschoolers (these are some silly ones)…
1. Everything is MINE! Even if I don’t want it, it’s mine. If I touched it once during the day, it is mine. If I don’t want you to touch it it’s mine. Even if I don’t know what it is, it’s mine!
2. I can hold my poop! If you hate going to the bathroom like most young ones do, this is a valuable skill to have. If the urge comes on, simply cross the legs and bounce up and down while whining and whimpering. Soon, the feeling will pass and gives you more time. Heaven forbid you take the minute necessary to go the dozen steps to the bathroom and just get it over with! I learned this from a 2-year-old girl. It has served me well. NOT!
3. When I’m hungry, I should be very picky! When I get hungry I will let the person in charge know I need to eat. When the food is set out, I will scrunch up my nose and say I don’t like it. I will also feed half of the lunch to the family dog. Then, apparently, I’m still entitled to complain loudly that I am hungry 15 minutes after I announce I am done with lunch.
4. Paint looks much better on the floor than on paper! I really believe this must be true. Kids 2 and under sure like to get a lot of it on the floor, so they must think it looks wonderful!
5. The ‘get out of trouble free’ go- to phrase, I didn’t Mean To! I am so relived to know that I can trip, punch, stick my tongue out or other extremely fun activities and get away with it if I look very remorseful and say…”I didn’t mean to”. I am so excited to learn this! I can’t wait for Monday to try this one out on a few people! Didn’t get your chores done? POW! right in the kisser. Put on a sad face and “I didn’t mean to.” *wink*
(for the record, the kids I watch don’t get away with this one and I wouldn’t really punch someone)
6. No matter how much I have eaten, I still get half of your lunch! I had some fruit and a peanut butter sandwich but I hear your lunch bag rattle so I can run up to you and see what you have. If I like it, I will ask if you will share, even though you only brought a yogurt and a bagel to get through your day. Hey, that’s not my problem and I want that bagel!!
Okay, so I make the kids I watch sound horrible, right? These are things I’ve dealt with over the 25 or so years of watching children. Kids will try to get away with a lot and you have to keep on your toes! Sometimes, they are so dang funny that it’s hard to not laugh. Laughing would be a huge mistake. It would give them a lot of power and make my job so much harder!
I love being around kids and watching them grow up and into these amazing adults. I love learning new ways to guide and encourage them. It is my hope that I can keep finding families to work for and stay young by being around such adorable little people!