Our house is kind of strangely built. It’s not a mobile home, but it is very long and skinny. I mean, there is a very long hallway and the walk from my room to the bathroom is roughly a mile. That’s okay because I need to get up and move more anyway. We have a night-light at the end of that hallway that is supposed to be turned on every night. If the light is not turned on, forget walking the hallway without slamming into a door, stubbing a toe, or both. I mean, it is so dark, you can’t see your hand if you hold it right in front of your face! The living room is pretty dark, too, but at least there is a tiny bit of light here and there that filters through the window blinds.
It is 5 am and I made the long and dangerous trip down that hallway without the night-light. I navigated around the many dog bones scattered around the living room. It’s a tricky business. These are very large chew bones because they belong to an English Bulldog and Saint Bernard. I somehow keep forgetting to pick those suckers up even though I have twisted an ankle stepping on one.
I made it to the bathroom and got cleaned up for the day. After leaving the warming glow of light in the bathroom, the absolute darkness of the living room was intimidating. I was carefully making my way across the dog bone mine field, when I saw it.
Someone was sitting on the couch by the window! All I could see clearly was a shoulder, part of a chest and just the very upper part of an arm. The rest of the person was a faint black outline. I froze in place, terrified (six of us live here, so why was I scared?). The person on the couch did not move at all or say anything. Maybe that’s why it bothered me. After about five seconds I broke my fear to ask a very important question. This is one you should always ask when confronted by a possible intruder.
“Is it you?”
What the hell? I have no idea how I thought that question would clarify things. It could have been a family member, Jack the Ripper, or even the spirit of Elvis sitting there and the answer would be the same.
“Why, yes it is me. Thank you…thank you very much.”
After my highly intelligent question, the person didn’t move or answer. At least I don’t think he did. I really didn’t give him time to reply as I started throwing other questions his way very rapidly.
“I know someone is there, who is it? Who’s there?”
The person stood up and started walking my way! I raised the towel I was holding, ready to swing it at him! A towel can be a deadly weapon if you use it just right! It can hit you in the eyes, drying them out and rendering them useless for a minute! Then, the little dab of light coming through the blinds lit up his smiling face and all was well with the world again.
It was my son. He was just waiting for the bathroom to be free.
“Why didn’t you answer me?” I hissed. “You scared me half to death! And I don’t even have a fancy will or anything to leave you, so what was the point?”
Okay, I didn’t say the last part, I just added it for the dramatic affects.
“I did answer, but you wouldn’t stop talking so you didn’t hear me.” He giggled. “I said, yes it’s me.”
So, I survived my first encounter with a mystery shape sitting on the couch in the dark. I feel good about it and I am much more confident in my intruder handling skills!