Ask GrannyK: Rules of Life

Sometimes I am asked such things as, “GrannyK, I don’t understand some rules we have to follow.  Why do we set such silly rules in the first place?”

What rules are they talking about, you ask?  Well, there are many of them.  My honest answer is always…

“How the heck should I know?”

Even though I don’t really understand why we set such silly rules, I can discuss them.  I have been out of the office and school environment for a lot of years, but here are a few that drove me crazy back in the day.  The Day meaning about a century ago.  Things might be different now.  Let me know if they have changed.

1.  You must not wear the same article of clothing twice in one week.

Why the heck not?  When I was sitting at a desk working a computer all day long, how dirty did I really get?  You mean to tell me I can’t wear the same black slacks twice in one week?  What is going to happen if I do?  Will my lower body turn to ash or something?

I agree some things should be changed daily for the sake of good hygiene. But I doubt that wearing the same pants twice in one week is going to affect the lives of, well, anyone.

2.  You must have a complete wardrobe for each season.  DO NOT mix and match!  

I pose this query to Autumn.  “Dear Autumn, do you care if I wear my brown shirt in the winter, too?   Hello?  Are you there, Autumn?”

Guess what? Autumn will not answer because Autumn does not give a rat’s arse!  Who cares?  Now, I won’t wear black in the summer or white in the winter.  Why?  Because when our summers get to 105 degrees it would be suicide to wear black clothing and have all that absorbed heat pressing against my skin!  I won’t wear white in the winter because I would blend in with the snow and probably get run over or something.  There is too much mud and other muck around to wear white in winter.  Besides, I want that black shirt to absorb any heat it can find in the winter!

3.  Never, EVER, go to work without perfect hair and make-up.

Okay, I do think you should clean up before going to work or any other public function.  But, perfect hair?  Obviously, a lot of people have hair that actually cooperates.  My hair has always been very baby fine and will not hold any kind of curl.  I spend 10 minutes just trying to flatten down my many spots that want to stick out here and there like horns.  There are three cowlicks (tufts of hair that grow in a different direction from the rest of your hair) in my hair and they make a lot of styles tough to pull off.  Around here, when GrannyK gets ready to fix her hair, the rest of the family scatters.  Strong language and angry glares from me are common during this time.  I long ago learned that my hair will not hold a curl and I don’t really even try.  Screw them if they don’t like it!

I don’t wear much make-up and never have.  I always thought I looked like a clown with make-up on.  I just never could figure out how to make it look natural or even close to natural no matter what color or brand I used.  I just put on a bit of foundation and a tiny bit of mascara and I am out that door!  And guess what?  The world does not end!  It goes on!

These are but a few of the questions I get about the rules of life.  I will address more of them at a later date.  For now, I must get ready to do laundry and clean the house!  And guess what? I have a pink shirt I am going to wear this week, and it is FALL! Ha! So there!