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Emotions and Expectations

I know I probably have a very strange view on some things.  I respect the views of others, and I promise I’m not judging these people.  I just don’t understand their point of view.  I guess I simply can’t relate to it.

I am involved in a few groups on Facebook that pertain to child care.  One of them is only for providers.  I do really like it as I get great ideas for themes and crafts there.  I like seeing what other people are doing and it can be a place of support.  I can even relate to some of the topics people complain about.  It’s great to have a place to vent and know that others understand.  Lately, though, I see some posts that I just can’t figure out why they are so upset.

The topic is about Christmas gifts or cards.  There are many daycare providers upset because they are not getting anything from the parents of the kids they care for.  They think they are being disrespected and/or underappreciated.  I really want to respond to them and put in my views, but I admit to being scared to do that because I see things so differently!  This is what goes through my mind:

  1.  You are running a business.  It isn’t personal.  I never expect anything from anyone.  A verbal Merry Christmas, or Happy Holiday to You is good enough for me.  They were kind enough to think of me and wish me well.  To me that is enough.
  2. Since when it is disrespectful to not buy everyone you know a card?  If I did that I would have to cut into my bill money as cards are very pricey and I would rather people don’t spend money on a useless card  that is probably going to be thrown away after reading it.
  3. Yes, you had the kids make crafts for the parents, and maybe you even gave parents a gift from you, or had a little party or whatever.  That is very nice!  BUT, since when do grow-ups expect to get a gift in return just because they gave one?  It was your choice to do those things and I have never, ever, expected something back when I do those things myself!
  4. I know doing child care is a different kind of business.  It does feel more personal, and you can become very friendly with parents and grow close to the kids.  Still, not everyone views it that way.

This is why I never respond because I will just make things worse and make people mad.  I think we make ourselves more upset about things than we need to.  We worry about things that don’t need to be worried about.  Everyone likes to feel appreciated and validated, I agree with that.  I just don’t think you need to have a card to show it, or a gift.  A smile and a thank you is good enough for me.


10 thoughts on “Emotions and Expectations

  1. I agree 100% with you. I have never quite understood the idea of giving gifts to teachers, day-care providers, hairdressers, massage therapists, letter carriers, newspaper delivery people, etc. If you are of a mind to wish these people a ‘Joyful Season’ or ‘Happy Holidays’ or whatever, that is fine. But no one should feel obligated to purchase gifts for (or give money to) people who provide a service to them (or vice versa). If I bought gifts for everyone who’d ‘served’ me (or members of my family) in the past year, I’d be broke! When did people get so greedy?

    • If you can and want to, gift giving is great! I just don’t like to feel I have to do it. I don’t want a gift given to me because someone felt obligated. Then, the gift or card means nothing!

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