When I first started this blog, I wanted it to have an upbeat attitude. I wanted only positive things here. I know now that I need to give it up for the time being. I have no positive things to post. Life has been a challenge for the last few years and it just keeps getting harder.
I will most likely not be able to afford the internet and it will be gone after the 14th of May. I don’t have a smart phone, so no luck there either. My job ends soon and so far I have not been able to find one that will actually pay bills. Now, my car decided to blow a tire AND is having trouble running, so I had to get new tires and am facing an expensive repair. Too bad, too, as the car is going to be our home come June the way things are going.
My son struggles with his OCD, but he is trying so hard to be able to cope. He finally broke down and applied for disability so he could get counselling and hopefully be able to work. His doctor was pushing for him to do so, but it’s not in our nature to accept things like this and we are trying to do without the help. We needn’t have worried anyway, as he was told mental disorders are not the same as being disabled and he was turned down. But, who can pay $100 an hour to get therapy? MY GOD, I only make an average of $6.60 an hour being self-employed. So, yeah, therapy is not going to happen.
All of this anxiety has my own OCD acting out of control and I find myself repeating actions over and over and over and it is hard to stop myself from doing it.
I have had two teeth break and I can barely chew my food these days, but there is no money to get them fixed. Even the sliding scale fee places are way beyond what I have to pay right now.
I am truly sorry for the depressing post and I know I’m giving up way too much information. A simple, “good-bye all, thanks for the memories” probably would have been enough and more appropriate, but I’m in a sharing mood today I guess.
I will pop in and read blogs until I no longer have the ability to do so. Maybe a miracle will happen and things will change, who knows? I’m not a religious person. I kind of wish I was! It would at least be something to hope for and hang onto.
Hopefully, I will be back soon if I have to leave. Thank you for the wonderful blogs and friendships. I will miss it.