Scared to Look at my Car

Yesterday, I actually washed my car.  I had an “OH YEAH” moment when I saw my car is actually white.  It had been so long since it was clean that I thought I had a gray car.  Now, I’m kind of scared to look at it.

Birds love pooping on my cars.  I have two driveways.  One is under wires, so it is risky to park there, but it is the best driveway for getting in and out of.  I tried the other driveway, thinking it would be nice to have less poop on my windows.  SURPRISE!  Apparently it doesn’t matter.  The birds just make it a point to fly over my car and poop anyway.

I’m scared that when I go out to leave for work, my car will look like this one.

Wish me luck!

Dear Bladder…

Dear bladder,

Pardon my language, but what the freak is wrong with you?

You do fantastic all day and cause me little trouble.  But, between the hours of 11pm and 4am you decide you have to empty several times?  Really?

I respectfully request that you get that all over with by 10pm.  Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.