The 2am Food Call

A letter to our cat, Tony.

Dear Tony,

I love you. I have to start with that. But you do test my limits at times. You push all the buttons! Did you know that 2 am is not breakfast time? No, not 3 am or even 4 am! You need to stop screaming at my door and scratching on it! And just because I don’t get up at those horrid times to feed you doesn’t mean you try to get Chris or Beck up, either! I know you are hungry, but try to go back to sleep or chase pretend mice or something.

Also, when I do open my door, please don’t be laying right there on the carpet. Your coloring is so close to the carpet color that my blurry and exhausted eyes don’t always see you in time. You weigh like 10 pounds and my 140 pounds tromping on your ribs is not a great way to start the day. I don’t want to crush you!

Yes, I see your adorable squinted eyes staring up adoringly at me. I want you to stop doing that in the middle of the night, too! Why? Because you wake me up at 2 am and if I try to shoo you away, you give me those eyes and I can’t be angry at you! I need to be angry at you at 2 am.

Your cooperation on these matters is greatly appreciated.


Scared to Look at my Car

Yesterday, I actually washed my car.  I had an “OH YEAH” moment when I saw my car is actually white.  It had been so long since it was clean that I thought I had a gray car.  Now, I’m kind of scared to look at it.

Birds love pooping on my cars.  I have two driveways.  One is under wires, so it is risky to park there, but it is the best driveway for getting in and out of.  I tried the other driveway, thinking it would be nice to have less poop on my windows.  SURPRISE!  Apparently it doesn’t matter.  The birds just make it a point to fly over my car and poop anyway.

I’m scared that when I go out to leave for work, my car will look like this one.

Wish me luck!