Ramblings on a Sunday

I find it hard to believe we are on the last week of April.  So many people are saying how slow time is going and how bored they are.  Me?  I have been loving the time off!  I hate that the time off is because of the pandemic, though.  It has given me a taste of what retirement would be like and I am thinking about retiring a year earlier than planned.  I think at the end of this summer, I will retire for real.  I already get my retirement benefit and it has saved us from hitting the bottom of the money pot so many times.  We are not rich by any means, but without that retirement, we would have been done for since we haven’t been working for six weeks.  I guess all the years of working and paying taxes has paid off.

Once I pay off the whole colonoscopy adventure, my next big thing is cardiologist.  I have had episodes of heart palpitations for 20 years and was always told not to worry about them unless they get worse.  As long as they only last a very short time all is well.  The day after my colonoscopy (March 30), I had some palpitations that were very strong.  They lasted a couple of hours.  Since then, they will come on out of nowhere and can last hours at a time and then disappear.  It’s never been like that before.  I don’t have pain and don’t feel like I will faint or anything.  It is just uncomfortable and seems to sap my strength.  I try to not panic or let it worry me too much because that will make it worse.  But, I do need it checked out.  I have been basically very healthy most of my 62 years (except for the inevitable issues that come with having no gallbladder).  I guess my old lady body decided that a pandemic was the time to play catch up!

That’s my update for today.  Have a good Sunday!

I Feel a bit Defeated

It is so incredibly hard for me to ask for help.  A couple of years ago, finances were so bad I finally broke down and got on the SNAP program because I couldn’t face another bowl of Ramen noodles!  That was my main food day in and day out.  I actually started gagging on them and had to force them down.  Once my retirement kicked in I was able to get off that program.

Well, now my body has decided to age (rude!) and is having all kinds of fits.  First it was rectal bleeding, pain and other intestinal meltdowns.  Got that fixed (I have to get a colonoscopy yearly now BOOOOO) in the nick of time before cancer took hold.  That’s good!  I can be here to torture my kids a little longer!  But, other things need checking.

Off and on for a while, I’ve had bouts of racing heart and the feeling of it skipping beats.  Suddenly, over the last week or so, it’s been doing this off and on every day.  Cutting out caffeine has helped, but it still happens.  Just out of the blue, my heart will start racing and it is scary!  It only lasts a few minutes and I can make it stop by getting up and walking, or splashing cold water on my face.  Still, it needs checked.

So, today I am going to face the mountain of paperwork to apply for Medicaid.  I’m not old enough for Medicare for another almost 3 years.  I’m scared to wait that long!  As with many, many others, we lost our cleaning jobs when the pandemic hit.  Some will have us back but a few of those jobs are gone permanently as they won’t have the money to pay us anymore.  Being out of work has taken its toll on finances.  So, I am breaking down and applying!  I might not get approved, but I will try.

I dread paperwork.  But, here I go!